The City Council Member can’t help himself.
(Sidenote: I don’t know him. He doesn’t know me. I’m sure we’d get along just fine—but man, do I disagree with how he thinks. Or at least how it looks from the outside.)
The issue on the table was a big one—community-impacting and worth a real conversation.
But instead of laying out a clear rationale or referencing the actual proposal, he launched into a five-minute monologue about how hard the decision was for him.
Again.
Just like he did last week…
No analysis.
No insight.
No leadership.
Just another emotional plea to the “good people of this city” about how heavy this decision felt on his conscience.
::Eye Roll::
Did they not explain the job to you, sir?
Did you think leadership was just ribbon cuttings, social media rants, and clever sound bites?
Leadership requires decision-making.
And not the kind that involves hours of hand-wringing and belly-button gazing while everyone else waits.
I’m talking about clear, structured, measured decision-making that leads to action.
Making a Choice
Some people treat every decision like it’s a bomb that they’re trying to defuse. (Hurry up, McGruber!!!)
Others can make massive calls in 30 seconds and walk away calmly and confidently like it’s just another Tuesday even when they’re completely wrong.
Lately, I’ve been studying the qualities that separate the two and how we can get the best of both worlds.
Between watching these council meetings, (which, frankly, felt more like a disappointing season finale from a reality show that should’ve been canceled) facilitating a panel with County and City Chiefs in the Police and Fire Departments for the Ventura County Leadership Academy, and studying Sources of Power by Gary Klein—the book Malcolm Gladwell credits for Blink—here’s what I’ve found:
The best decisions:
Are not about time.
Are not about IQ.
But they are about structure.
Most people—especially leaders—aren’t struggling with the decision itself.
They’re struggling with the fact that they don’t have a reliable process for making decisions and taking action.
What I’ve Been Learning:
- Firefighters and first responders are trained to make high-stakes decisions in seconds. It’s not guesswork—it’s pattern recognition built through years of training and scenario drills. They have decisions that keep them up at night. (And thank God they’ve taken on this responsibility!)
- City councils and council members often operate in silos. Everyone does their “own research”, and neglects alignment. When it’s time to vote, it’s performance over progress. Proposals don’t turn into action—not because they’re bad ideas, but because no one shares a decision-making framework and we’re left reinventing plans week after week.
- The top-performing leaders don’t credit “waiting for every piece of data” to make their decisions. They move when the risk is known, the reward is clear, and the team is aligned. Measured action beats perfection. Measured momentum beats indecision. (Meanwhile, the government seems to want every opinion weighed—then changes course the moment one public commenter disagrees with an expert consultant that we’ve hired…)
Decide Like a Leader: Hint-It doesn’t “start” with Confidence
A lot of people assume confident leaders are just born that way.
They’re not.
Sure, some leaders naturally project confidence—but real, grounded confidence doesn’t have to be loud. It doesn’t have to be cocky. And it doesn’t have to have a spotlight.
The healthiest confidence comes from competence. (If it doesn’t, it’s simply a strong wish and faulty. That sort of confidence should not be trusted.)
And where does competence come from?
Practice.
If you struggle to make clear, consistent decisions, it’s not an ethical or human flaw. It’s not about “needing more grit”. It’s not about a lack of intelligence.
It’s oftentimes simply a matter of whether or not you’re using a reliable structure.
And whether or not you’ve practiced using that structure. (Just thinking wisely on a thing doesn’t mean you’ve actually done anything.)
Most people won’t practice.
They’ll just repeat, “This is hard…” and expect a standing ovation.
The best leader’s decision-making doesn’t “start” with confidence… it “starts” with practice.
This is trainable.
You’re still reading. This tells me something: you’re not just interested in leadership—you’re committed to it.
You want clarity, not confusion.
Decisions, not delays.
Forward motion, not feeling stuck.
And here’s the best part: Consistently Strong Decision-making is a trainable skill.
Want Better, Faster, Stronger Decisions?
Here’s what to work on:
- Identify your natural decision-making style. (How do you currently make decisions? Are you guessing and pretending? Are you asking, “What’s my goal?” Are you just letting the universe decide?)
- Use frameworks to make better, faster choices. (PLEASE don’t rely on AI to think for you… I’m not ready for the robots to take over yet… and it’s also faulty… and lazy…)
- Pay attention to fuzzy conversations. (Can you spot when you don’t know what you want, or how to get from where you are to where you’re trying to go?)
- Practice “leaderness.” (It’s the quality of being someone worth following—not just the one who is in charge. Real leadership is more about coordinating action – not worrying about some innate qualities you “must possess”.)
In the trainings that I lead for startups, chambers, and government teams, the same rhythm emerges every time:
Clarity → Confidence → Action → Results → Review → Clarity (Rinse and repeat… until the end of time. Or at least retirement.)
I may change the PowerPoint.
I may change the message.
But the process remains.
So, Back to That Council Meeting…
It’s easy to judge from the outside. I know. But what I’m witnessing at these city council meetings isn’t stupidity. It’s just a pet peeve of mine and inaccurate thinking.
It’s a breakdown in structure and a difference in awareness.
A failure to practice the one thing leaders are expected to do:
Make decisions that move things forward.
We can all be better decision-makers.
We can train for clarity like firefighters train for crisis – Like police chiefs prepare to lead.
We can lead intentionally.
And maybe next time, when the vote comes, I’ll hear something new:
Not how hard the decision was…
…but the process of how he actually made it.
-j
P.S. This week, I get to speak with Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP Global) on the art of making invitations: (Please support them and purchase tickets here!!! Let’s take care of our fundraisers!!!) (April 15th, from 11:30 to 1:00 in Oxnard.)
I’ll also be working with a leadership team on upgrading their “leaderness” in a private training.
This is the life.