Being a “follower” isn’t exactly considered sexy.
People don’t usually list it as a sought-after skill.
You don’t brag about it on a date.
It doesn’t exactly stand out on a résumé.
And yet, we’re funny about how we talk about being “followers.”
Sometimes, we’re incredibly vocal about it. (Cue DCTalk… “Jesus Freak.”)
Sometimes, we know better than to reveal what we follow. (Don’t talk politics or religion at mixers, right!?)
In a world that celebrates leaders, it’s easy to overlook the years we spend as followers—and what we learn during that time.
I had the opportunity to work in a leader-centric organization where strong leadership was the norm.
My mentors rigorously practiced what they taught.
People don’t get the opportunity to witness their leaders openly discussing how they will lead consistently.
I did.
And it changed me.
It was Transformational.
I’m currently writing a book about just how transformational it was. (That kind of “transformational”—not the kind that gets overused after weekend conferences…)
As I have been researching for my writing, I find myself reflecting on those years through the lens of Ira Chaleff’s book, The Courageous Follower. (Thank you to Dr. Romi Boucher for the book!)
Growing Under Leader-Centric Conditions
I used to say that growing my leadership inside an organization filled with leaders was a unique challenge.
It was.
I realized that being a good follower didn’t mean staying in the leader’s shadow.
It meant actively supporting the company’s mission—sometimes by taking initiative, sometimes by speaking up with a differing view.
I started to see that my role wasn’t just to do as I was told but to contribute courageously from my position.
And that’s how I started leading.
- It’s how I began leading sessions next to my CEO.
- It’s how I became the podcast host for the company.
- It’s how I developed and eventually taught my own lesson plans.
- It’s how I started leading the very groups I had been training and consulting.
- It’s how I moved when qualifying as Faculty and a Consultant
And to my surprise? This was welcomed. It’s what my mentors wanted for me.
Respecting Mentors While Finding My Own Style
Throughout this journey, I had several mentors whom I deeply respected.
I hung on their advice. I tried to emulate their successful habits.
But there is a fine line in there that I was consumed with: how do you learn from mentors without becoming a clone or losing your own voice?
Chaleff observes that it’s healthy to challenge a leader when something feels off—but being rebellious about everything will “never earn the trust to meaningfully influence a leader.”
In other words, if I disagreed with my mentors, I had ought to pick my battles thoughtfully and express myself in a way that maintained mutual respect.
Not just be the one squawking every single time. (A lesson I’m still working on… ::sings:: “Because… I’m so good at finding what I don’t like the most…”)
Of course, there’s also the other side of the equation: becoming too subservient or deferential.
My mentors weren’t looking for yes-people—they valued honest input and different perspectives.
All of us must develop an independent leadership style without rejecting our own mentors’ wisdom.
I remember the moment when I stopped seeing my leaders as infallible parents or heroes—and started viewing them as partners in a common purpose.
That shift? That was an upper-limit behavior I had to work through. (And probably still will. But I’m practicing! And that’s how we get better.)
I’ve learned to adopt what I admire in my mentors—honoring the guidance I’ve received while trusting my own voice—and that has become the cornerstone of my current career growth and trajectory.
Learning How to Be Mentored: The Foundation of Leadership
Looking back, I see clearly that my struggles with followership were the foundation of my growth as a leader.
At the time, I didn’t fully appreciate it.
(I thought I did. I even asked for their mentorship—but the moment I received it, I fought their lessons with my own attitude, ego, and entitlements…)
Now, as I step into new leadership in training and consulting roles, I keep using the skills I learned as a follower.
For instance: listening actively—a skill every good leader needs.
That lesson? It came from my very first conversation with the president of the company:
“Josh, you’ll need to listen more and talk less.”
(“Well… nice to meet you too…” I thought.)
That lesson began a journey that taught me how to read the needs and skills of the whole team and utilize them—instead of just doing projects by myself and calling it “leadership.”
It taught me empathy—having been in the trenches executing someone else’s vision, I understood what support my own team would need from me when I had people following me.
Followership is not a lesser role—it’s a complementary one.
We don’t just flip a switch and suddenly become a leader.
We transition.
And the best transition is a gradual growth from conscientious follower to capable leader.
(It could happen suddenly… but I sure wouldn’t want to leave something that important to chance.)
In essence, great followership and great leadership are built on the same courageous behaviors.
Every follower is actually practicing mini-leadership, and every leader still needs to be a good follower in the right moments (and learn to accept feedback in all its forms).
Being a follower instilled humility.
(In some cases, I also learned that I would overuse humility or exhibit false humility, and it didn’t suit me or my own expertise—but that’s another story for another day!)
I know what it’s like to be in the supporting role, which makes me more understanding and open to learning from those I now lead.
It also keeps me aware that leadership is a privilege—earned through trust and competence, not just a title that gets handed out.
How to Be Mentored: A Know-it-All’s Guide to Finding, Learning From, and Leaving Your Mentors
The principles in The Courageous Follower aren’t just shaping my leadership—they’re shaping my writing and research for my first book.
Writing is its own kind of leadership journey—I imagine I’m guiding readers through ideas and stories, but I also have to follow the wisdom of those who came before me.
In researching leadership and followership, I’ve had to practice the courage to listen—to mentors, interviewees, and other authors.
At the same time, I need the courage to challenge certain popular leadership narratives if my findings call for it.
For example, one of my sections discusses when it’s time to leave a mentorship—and how to do so with grace, while still honoring those you’ve worked with or for. (Would have loved to have Chaleff whispering in my ear when I was navigating this myself!)
Authoring a book without a huge title or authority behind my name sometimes feels like being a small fish in a big pond.
But instead of waiting for validation, I’m taking the initiative to craft the message I believe will help others. (Another lesson I can attribute to my mentors…) “Don’t move to your circumstances… move towards your aims.”
Conclusion: From Follower to Leader, and What’s Next
I used to think followership was just a phase to “get through” on the way to leadership.
Now?
I see it as the most integral part of the journey—a rich training ground that shaped who I am today.
Following cultivates the very traits we admire in the greatest leaders.
So—let’s talk.
- Did you have a period where you learned by following someone else’s lead?
- How did it shape the kind of leader (or follower) you are today?
Tell your story.
Because maybe… being a follower is sexy after all.