That’s the idea I’ve been sitting with this week from David DeSalvo’s What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite—and let me tell you, it’s been a loud, uninvited guest in my brain.
Here’s the gist: Many of us are revving our engines… but we’re stuck in idle.
We’ve got ambition. Ideas. Drive. But the systems we operate in—school, work, our social circles, even our to-do lists—weren’t built for each of our individual brains. So let’s drop “archetypes” for a second and admit it: the one-size-fits-all approach so many coaches and consultants push doesn’t actually fit all.
But wait… there’s more…. Our “happy” brains aren’t built to challenge these systems. They’re built to adapt to them—to keep us comfortable inside them. (Even if those systems suck or we know they don’t work.)
And then we “just keep swimming… just keep swimming…” When… we should actually stop.
Unless you’re a hyper-efficient, robotic overachiever (Hint: 99.9999% of us are not…), it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind.
But maybe you’re not broken. (Maybe it’s not you…)
Maybe you just need a different kind of fuel. (Maybe it’s them…)
Let’s Get Weird
DeSalvo highlights a study that found high-achievers actually performed worse when a task was labeled as “fun.” Why? Because their brains didn’t trust it as a legitimate test of excellence. (“Wait, having fun can’t mean this is a serious project… right?” — YOUR inner overachiever voice… if that’s not your brain, read on…)
Meanwhile, those labeled as “low-achievers” actually performed better when the task was labeled as “fun”. Fun gave them permission to engage without pressure—and they thrived. (Um…. so according to that study, I’m a what, now???? (::sigh::)— MY inner-underachiever voice…)
The Takeaway
Motivation isn’t simply about whether or not you “do” the thing.
It’s also about whether the thing feels credible, enjoyable, and personalto each of us, individually.
Our own, individual perceptions change everything.
So if you’re stuck, try asking yourself:
- Am I trying to motivate myself like someone else would?
- Am I ignoring how I actually engage with challenges?
- Am I writing off “fun” as “less valuable”?
A Few Tactics to Try
- “Gamify” the grind. Hate cleaning the garage? Make it a game. Add music. Time yourself. Create mini-rewards. (Sounds silly? So is trying the same approach 50 times and still dreading it. Also… yes, I’ll be cleaning the garage this week. Don’t judge me.)
- Imagine you’re receiving immediate feedback. ::SHUDDERS:: A 2017 study in the Journal of Consumer Research found performance spikes when people anticipate feedback. Pretend someone’s reviewing your work the moment you finish. (Your brain might snap into focus… or just panic. Either way, it’ll do something.)
- Talk to yourself differently. Instead of “I can do this.” try “Can I do this?” That tiny shift engages curiosity and problem-solving, not just blind cheerleading.
- Go public—but strategically. If you care what people think (A quick “Hello!” to all of my fellow recovering people-pleasers), use that as a lever. The public commitment effect is real—especially for those who fear letting others down. (But if you don’t care what others think? You will need another strategy.)
TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read…)
If you didn’t read this article and just caught your mind wandering until I called it out in this sentence, your “lack of motivation” (Or lack of the ability to pay attention…) to read doesn’t mean you’re lazy or broken. (I had to learn that I needed to read WHILE listening to the audio before I truly was able to start absorbing and applying information.)
It probably means you’re playing a game that wasn’t built for your wiring. (It could also mean that I’m not an engaging enough writer… but I’m working on that!!! sheesh…)
No More Shame
Let’s stop shaming ourselves for not being productivity robots. (“Beep, Boop”)
Let’s start experimenting—like real, complex, weird, and wonderful human beings.
Fun is allowed.
Play is allowed.
But overly serious “grit and get it done” is allowed, too.
It just depends on you.
And if you’re not making your systems work for you, I hope it’s comforting to know that most other people aren’t either. (But you’re an ambitious adult… you’re going to do something about it… right? Right!??)
Stay curious. Stay ambitious. And shift out of idle before you burn out the engine.
(P.S. No one except a few men trying to seem “manly” has ever told me that they were attracted to a loud car, so there’s that…)
– j
P.S. On the slacker-to-overachiever spectrum, I’m somewhere in the middle—leaning slightly manic with a splash of “needs a break every 3 minutes.” I claim to be the “laziest hard-worker I know”, but I have noticed that I’m always seeming to get things done… just not the way everyone else does it…